I went to Via Ferrata the second day after I came back from Inca Trails. The route was hanging on the cliff walls of the beautiful Sacred Valley. I planned I could meet some young people there and then go to pubs together in the evening. To my greatest surprise, I was teamed up with a couple in their 50s. At first I was impressed by the fact that they were still so adventurous at their age. Later on I was even more impressed by how loving and supportive they were to each other. While climbing with them, I was like watching two people exampling how you should treat your partner from a textbook.
I already can’t remember the husband’s name, but there was no way I can forget the wife’s name Sheila as the husband constantly reminded our guide “Sheila hurt her left knee two months ago”, “Sheila can’t bend the knee”, “this part is too steep to Sheila” and “I need to stay together with Sheila”. As a woman who holds an idealized belief in marriage, how can I not be blown away by such a warm, considerate and vocally expressive husband?
It was my first time doing Via Ferrata. When I started, my legs were still shaking. But the old couple acted like bosses on the wall. This gave me a tremendous boost. While we sat on a flat rock overlooking Sacred Valley to have our picnic, the lovely couple shared more of their climbing stories. They started climbing all the way back to the days when they were still dating. Over the years they traveled to famous climbing spots around the world. And they also passed their passion to their only son. The family climbed together when the boy was young. Now they were no longer that fit to conquer those technically challenging routes, but they still enjoyed to do some easy ones from time to time. I watched them telling stories of their life, finishing each other’s sentences and showing pictures to us. I just felt how beautiful this relationship was.
After we were beheaded to the ground, we headed to a nearby cafe while waiting for another zip-line group to finish. The husband invited me to join them. While he was away to get beer for us, I told Sheila, “You are such a happy woman with an amazing husband.” Sheila smiled and looked at me, “Every relationship has its difficult times. It needs both people to work on it.” I thought she was just being nice. People who were winning usually tried to make no big deal of themselves.
The husband then joined us to sit in the garden. We chatted while enjoying the craft beer and the beautiful sun. The husband worked for an international coal exporter in Vancouver while Sheila has become a housewife after she had the baby. “The hours were not good. And the company made it hard for her.” The husband uttered. I didn’t know what happened back then but it did occur to me the family life has been the biggest (if not the only) part of Sheila’s life for the past 20 years and the years coming. Previously I felt it was so sweet when the husband bought her a new iPhone X and signed her up for a photography class when Sheila said she took bad pictures. Now I suddenly realized that Sheila had no money at all to buy her own iPhone X and sign up for a master photography class. The husband was the sole provider for everything in her life. I didn’t want to be cynic to imagine if the husband has heard most of Sheila’s wishes in the past 20 years, but there was a chance that there could be another side of the story.
Just when we finished beer, our guide let us know another group were back from zip-line and we can share the same van back to Cusco. Julien, a Danish guy working in IT, was in the other group. He was in a good mood, talking non-stop from his climb-up-zip-down day activity to his travel so far in Peru. Later we learned both of us will go to Amazon. He was so excited, “Maybe we will see each other there.” After quickly checked his itinerary, he looked at me, “Bummer. I head over one day after you. We are definitely not in the same group.” But speaking of a small world, I ran into Julien when I left Puerto Maldonado at the airport. He was so happy seeing me again and chatted with me about my trip. During the time, I noticed a girl kept looking into our direction, in a slightly less friendly way. Julien brushed it off like such an insignificant information, “That’s my girlfriend.” He continued his lively conversation until the gate announced his flight would be off soon. I was stunned by his smiling face, chatty talk and the complete ignorance of his girlfriend’s existence! Initially I thought probably due to the gender equality thing in their Northern European countries, guys may not be required to behave in a way expected in my society. But in the following weeks, Julien kept texting me for some small talks. I finally admitted it was weird and stopped to respond. Then I had a crazy imagination that Julien eventually married his girlfriend and maintained the marriage for 20 or 30 years. When they were old and travelled together, Jullien was such a warm and considerate husband to his wife. And his wife would tell another younger girl ,“Every relationship has its difficult times. It needs both people to work on it.”
My running partner Lily once came to me, “I just want to find THE ONE.” I don’t even know if I believe it. Our life certainly will unfold differently if we choose to spend our live with different people. But as long as we make things worked out between each other, we can still be happy and successful as a couple. Are Sheila and her husband the one to each other? Will Julien and his girlfriend be the one to each other someday? I don’t have the answers. But if you ask me do I hope to be with THE ONE, hell, yes. I want the deep connection, though there may be a chance that I just meet a sociopath who pretend he can see me. Or, time, our most gracious friend, will eventually tender our grumpy heart and color everything with a rosy shade.
I have such an idealized image of relationship and marriage yet I don’t believe in fairy tales. I’m doomed.